A different perspective on domestic violence.

Domestic violence today is a really heavy offense. If you take a look in the past, the things have changed dramatically in a course of a single century. Not to mention that some time ago the slavery was considered to be normal. There are still places where violence is considered normal, for example in Africa and even India, a lot of these incidents are remaining unnoticed, even though they do actually have laws that forbid such enormity.

In Namibia, which is a part of Africa, it is completely normal when in the newly assigned couples a future husband forces the girl into sex. Moreover the inability to perform in a way that is being expected by the tribe’s conduct would be considered as infirmity. Not to mention that 99% of these girls are underage. If that had to be taken place in the US, the whole family would probably get a lifetime imprisonment.

Imagine that… In India it is also considered normal to sell their children to someone provided, although the term selling is quite wrong in a sense that they do it for free! The logic behind these acts is that at least the family would have a couple more handfuls of rice, and so could survive better even if they never have to see their children again. In the US though, any slight offense could turn out a big problem to the offender. I am personally not the fan of promoting litigations among married couples, but sometimes continuing the relationship could easily become overkill, and on the other hand requiring an immediate intervention from a specialized home violence lawyer.

Commonly there are two scenarios when the relationship gets wrong, involving a possibility of violence. In the first, the violence actually starts as something harmless. Then eventually it may grow into a heavy beating, but as this transition happens gradually, the wives still take no steps to question such actions but instead are simply getting used and adjusted to that experience. Psychologically they may even enjoy it; however, it often becomes a manifestation of the unconscious desires, which they would not admit as easily. Another way of transition is happening rather sharp. When the hopes about the other person are demolished, and the reality of the unmet expectation is finally dispassionately faced, an individual may change his views drastically, as well as changing his typical behavior.

From a psychological perspective the need for violence always reflects a person’s helplessness on a deeper level. Sometimes this could be a manifestation of Napoleon’s complex, which too is based on the inferiority. In domestic violence the inferiority is met in face of a particular object, such as a wife, so the violence against a wife could be a manifestation of a sort of ill dependency, which the subject is yet unable to overcome. And it is quite logical because hitting someone in the face is always easier than to get a deeper, embracing understanding among the both sides.

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